The Halloween Draw
by Ceil Scheherazade
Summary: After the infamous Bloody Black Halloween, Umino Iruka came up with the perfect idea on how to keep the shinobi Halloween party safe and blood-free. He then finds himself cursing his own genius especially due to the presence of one Hatake Kakashi... R/R!
1. The Bloody Black Halloween

**Disclaimer:** I do NOT own Naruto! It's owned by the genius named Masashi Kishimoto.

**The Halloween Draw**

**Two-shot: Chapter 1/2**

**

* * *

**

"Okay people, open your folded pieces of paper... NOW!"

The sound of rustling paper immediately sounded in the air, followed by some excited whoops or disappointed moans as the various Konoha shinobi looked at what costume they would be wearing for the annual shinobi Halloween party. The draw made sure that everyone came to the party as someone different from everybody else. If one was lucky, they would get a really good theme and win the coveted Best Costume contest, which granted the winner an A-rank mission-equivalent cash prize, plus a year's supply of a-bowl-of-ramen-a-day coupons from the famous Ichiraku Ramen Bar.

Why did the shinobi of Konoha decide to have a draw for something like Halloween costumes?

It was due to what everyone has now dubbed the "Bloody Black Halloween", which happened three fateful years ago.

The Godaime Hokage, Tsunade, the sadistic Mitarashi Anko, the deadly Yugao Uzuki, and the indomitable Yuuhi Kurenai attended the annual Konohagakure Halloween Extravaganza wearing the exact same costumes.

...Yes...

It _was_ a _bloody_ and _black_ day.

Therefore, for the safety of the whole of Konoha and its citizens, one Umino Iruka thought of the wonderful "Halloween Draw".

Yes, this wonderful Academy Chuunin sensei has definitely saved countless number of lives.

Anyway, about said man...

Iruka stared at the seemingly innocent and non-threatening piece of paper in his hand... a paper that contained two words that heralded the destruction of his hard-earned reputation and the loss of the respect which he so very deserved.

Izumo, who was closest to him, sensed the dark aura of misery that emanated from Iruka. Turning to his fellow Chuunin in concern, he asked, "Are you all right, Iruka?"

The pony-tailed man immediately stiffened as his head jerkily turned towards Izumo, who sweatdropped.

"Ha-ha-ha," Iruka gave a fake laugh in quite a mechanical voice. "I-I am per-per-per-perfectly fi-fi-fine."

_Who do you think you're fooling, little dolphin? _Izumo thought wryly. His gaze then fell on the small piece of paper that was suffering a slow disintegration through a tight grip and sweating palms. "Oh! So what did you get?"

Iruka seemed to snap away from whatever precipice he was currently tittering from as he suddenly gasped and grabbed Izumo's wrist. The light brown-haired Chuunin just had enough time to release an "eh?" before he was promptly dragged off by the taller man to the two organizers of this annual Halloween event for this year, Shiranui Genma and Mitarashi Anko.

"Do you have a problem, Ruka-kun?" Anko asked with her teeth bared in a predatory grin.

Iruka thrust a piece of paper to their noses. "I need to swap."

Genma took the paper from him and read the two words written on it with Anko peering at it next to him. They both stared for a second before promptly bursting into disgusting – in Iruka's opinion – guffaws.

"Oh, this is precious," Anko panted between barks of laughter.

"N-No way are we going to allow you to pass this up!" Genma added and they both exploded into new peals of laughter.

"You have to change this!" Iruka argued and tried to use his domineering 'sensei voice' on them. Unfortunately, due to the intense desire of the two to see him impersonate what was written on that dastardly paper, the two Tokubetsu Jounin seemed to have developed 'sensei-voice'-resistant balls.

"Nu-uh," Genma said childishly. "Ebisu came up here just a while ago and wanted to change as well but we didn't allow him. We can't give you special treatment, Iruka, or else everyone who doesn't like what they got would want to change – _then_ this whole draw thing would be moot!"

"B-B-B-But-" Iruka tried to protest. He can't believe this was happening! How could his own genius idea betray him like this? Haven't all the lives he has saved count for anything?

"Maa, is there something wrong, Iruka-sensei?" a familiar drawl sounded from right behind Iruka, who instantly squealed – in a _manly _manner, of course – and quickly grabbed the paper that was still in Genma's hand so that the newcomer would not have the chance to see what was written on that traitorous piece of tree bark product.

"Ah, Kakashi-sensei," Iruka said quickly with another fake smile as he spun around to face the older and taller nin. "Everything is perfect." He could hear Genma and Anko snigger behind him. Iruka quickly looked over his shoulder and shot them a withering glare. The two instantly shut up although they still wore knowing grins on their faces.

_What will you do now, Iruka? _Izumo thought with pity for his friend.

Of course, Iruka knew how stupid it was to hide the piece of paper. It was not as though no one would find out – especially once he appeared at the party wearing...

He shuddered at the thought. Unfortunately, the – _damn _– Jounin in front of him had perfect eyesight despite only having one visible eye and Kakashi leaned closer to him with a searching gaze.

"I think there _is _something wrong, Iruka," Kakashi said slowly.

"Oh, it's nothing," Iruka said airily before adopting a mournful look. "It's just that I don't think I'll be able to go to the Halloween party after all."

There were sounds of protest from behind him and Iruka looked over his shoulder once more and shot Genma and Anko his withering glare Version Fool-Proof. The protests immediately died.

"What's this I hear about Iruka not going to the party?" a booming voice exclaimed and Iruka winced as all heads turned to him.

Tsunade-hime appeared from behind Kakashi with one fist resting on her curvaceous hip.

_Uh-oh, _Iruka thought despairingly. _I'm screwed..._

"Er... Um..."

"Whatever it is, Iruka, drop it," Tsunade ordered. "This party is more important. They're will be sake for one thing."

Ah, of course. Always the sake. Iruka never went to these parties for the sake though – due to his non-existing tolerance for alcohol – but more for the company and the chance to catch up with friends or former students who were otherwise too busy to see him.

"Yeah, Iruka-sensei," Haruno Sakura piped up as she stood beside the Hokage with Shizune and Yamanaka Ino by her side. "This party only happens once a year, you know."

"We can help you shop for a costume if you want," Ino offered brightly. "That way, it'll take you faster to get it."

A couple of snorting sounds. "Yeah," Genma drawled. "You'll be _perfect_ for helping- ACHH!"

Ah... The wonderful sounds of a Tokubetsu Jounin choking on his stupid senbon...

"How kind of you, Ino," Iruka said with a gentle smile. "I will not need assistance although I appreciate-"

"You should still come, Iruka," Shizune insisted. "After all, you were the one who thought of this wonderful Halloween Draw. It also builds up the excitement of wanting to know what others are going appear as without worrying about having the same outfit as someone else."

Iruka winced. Why was he always the one who's betrayed? First Mizuki and now his own brilliant idea?

It was sick.

Iruka knew he would not be able to get out of it. Tsunade seemed determined to make him go and he knew that if he did not show up, she would probably get her ANBU to trace his ass down and drag him to the party.

_Only _she _needs to see me, _Iruka thought desperately. _I could just appear for a minute – while she's hopefully drunk – while making sure that no one else can recognize me then get out of there. Simple, right? Right?_

Right?

Poor Iruka didn't realize that a certain Jounin was eyeing him with such scrutiny that could only spell one word...

**T**-**R**-**O**-**U**-**B**-**L**-**E**.

* * *

**A/N: **_**I shouldn't be writing this! I should be STUDYING! Argh! But this is more for fun and I've had this idea since the start of October so it's been waiting to burst out. I think much like **_**An Innocent Letter, **_**this two-shot will have a short first chapter and a longer second chapter. If everything goes according to plan, the second chapter will be out before October actually ends.**_

_**Anyway, please tell me what you guys think!**_

**Ceil Scheherazade**


	2. The Art of Baiting a Dolphin

**Disclaimer:** I do NOT own Naruto. It's owned by the spectacular Masashi Kishimoto.

**The Halloween Draw**

**Two-shot: Chapter 2a/2 **_(Chapter 2 comes in two parts: 2a and 2b... Fine, it's technically a three-shot but I can't be bothered changing what I wrote in the first chapter!)_

* * *

He actually got the... clothes.

He actually got the... props.

He actually wore it all...

He actually stepped in front of the mirror...

He actually looked at his reflection on the mirror...

...And _stared_...

Ah...

"**NO** – **WAY** – IN – ANY – BURNING – LEVEL – OF – FREAKING – **HELL**!"

Umino Iruka wrenched the precious – and quite delicate – garments off himself while pulling off the wig he had donned on. He growled like a frustrated caged animal as he began pacing in front of his mirror, taking care not to step on the clothes on the floor.

"There is no way anyone would ever let me live it down if I wear _that _to the stupid Halloween party," Iruka muttered to himself as he walked to and fro. His hands flew to his hair as he began tugging on the dark chocolate strands. "Calm down, Iruka! _Calm down!_ You do _not _have to go through this or go to that stupid, useless, waste-of-time of a party where perverts lurk and ogle innocent fun-loving people."

Then amber eyes flashed in his mind.

"_Whatever it is, Iruka, drop it," Tsunade ordered. "This party is more important. They're will be sake for one thing."_

"DAMN IT!"

Hmm... Now what was more important to the teacher?

"My pride and dignity or my balls?" he began chanting as his pacing became faster. "My pride and dignity or my balls? My pride and dignity or my balls? Pros and cons... Pros and cons... If I let Tsunade-sama cut off my balls, what would I lose? I don't have a lover or anything and that's really all they're ever good for...

"But if I lose my pride and dignity? All the shinobi of Konoha will be laughing at me. That means I won't be able to strike fear in any pre-Genin, Chuunin or Jounin. That means _late _late mission reports, those little hellions acting up in the classroom, sexual harassment left and right...What will my parents in heaven think? What will Sandaime-sama think? _What will __**Naruto**__ say?_"

It was a clear win obviously.

Iruka nodded, feeling lighter at his decision. "Hmph, who needs balls? Women deal with the lack of them all the time. I should be able to do so too!"

Feeling satisfied, he got dressed in his typical Chuunin uniform of matching navy blue pants and shirt, along with his Chuunin vest. He slid his sandals on at the front door after placing his wallet in a pocket.

"I should treat myself," he mused as he opened his front door. "As a farewell to my genitalia."

Ah... As he would later find out, if only he had decided what a foolish, foolish thought treating one's own balls to ramen, even Ichiraku ramen, was...

...Especially with a certain Copy Nin wanting to ensure that the little dolphin would be going to that _stupid _party...

* * *

Iruka hummed as he walked at a leisurely pace towards Ichiraku Ramen. As he neared the noodle bar, he noticed a familiar flash of orange.

A grin quickly lit up his face and he hurried to the restaurant. Iruka excitedly pulled aside the flaps, "Naruto! How are you-"

The blond ninja spun around in his seat and grinned hugely. "Iruka-sensei!" he exclaimed boisterously until he noticed that his favourite Academy teacher developed a twitching left eye. "Iruka-sensei?"

"Maa, Iruka-sensei," Naruto's companion drawled. "What's with that look of immense vexation? We all know Naruto's obnoxious voice can effortlessly raise the dead back to life – which is a really bad thing since tomorrow's Halloween – you should be used to it by now."

"What?" Naruto yelled out indignantly. "Iruka-sensei is looking at _you_, Ba-Kashi-sensei!" Naruto then turned to the Chuunin. "Right, Iruka-sensei? Right? Right? He's the obnoxious one, _right_?"

Iruka warily walked up to the two and took a seat to Naruto's right, thus using Naruto as a barrier.

"We don't see you here often, Kakashi-sensei," Iruka said cautiously. Kakashi's lone visible eye showed his smile and for some reason, all the little hairs at the back of Iruka's neck stood in attention.

"Maa, Naruto here is treating me."

"He blackmailed me!" the Kage-level Genin exclaimed in outrage.

"Wrong word, Naruto-kun," Kakashi corrected unconcernedly. "Stop using the big words if you can't use them right."

Red patches appeared on Naruto's cheeks and he grumped, "Fine! He _tricked _me! Who knew we were playing the Fire-Water-Lightning-Wind-Earth version of Rock-Paper-Scissors?"

Iruka raised an eyebrow. "Then it's no longer Rock-Paper-Scissors."

"EXACTLY!"

"Come now, Naruto," Kakashi said happily. "Don't be a sore loser."

"WHAT? A SORE-"

"Here's your deluxe pork ramen!" Teuchi announced. The boy instantly began devouring his order, throwing acidic glares at Kakashi every now and then. "The regular, Iruka?"

Iruka smiled at the store owner. "Yes, please, Teuchi-san."

"Coming right up!"

Iruka looked fondly down at Naruto as the teen stuffed his face. Iruka rarely sees his favourite pupil these days. He was always out in the frontlines despite the threat on his life. That was why Iruka always treasured their short moments together.

"Here you go, Iruka," Teuchi said as he placed a bowl of ramen in front of the younger man. Iruka graciously thanked him before digging in with his chopsticks.

"So Iruka- sensei, are you ready to tell me what your Halloween costume is?"

*COUGH-COUGH-COUGH*

"AH! IRUKA-SENSEI IS CHOKING!"

Kakashi was instantly there, patting the younger man's back firmly as he handed the Chuunin a glass of water. Once the traitorous noodle was out of his throat, Iruka quickly swallowed the whole glass of water.

"Iruka-sensei, what happened?" Naruto asked, his blue eyes shining with worry. "You never choke on ramen! You can even eat a noodle through your nose!"

Kakashi perked up at that. "Really?"

"_Naruto!" _Iruka quickly reprimanded, blushing furiously before taking another gulp of water from the glass that Teuchi refilled. "I'm fine. I was just caught off-guard."

Naruto looked absolutely perplexed. "By what?"

Iruka's blush deepened and it was only then that he realized that Kakashi was gently rubbing soothing circles across his back. Iruka quickly stiffened and as soon as he did, the rubbing stopped.

"So, Iruka-sensei," Kakashi said lightly. "About my question you didn't answer-"

_Damn it, _Iruka cursed inwardly. _You'd think he'd let me off the hook after choking on a miserable piece of noodle!_

"-what's your costume for the Halloween party? I'm dying to know."

_Oh I'm sure, _Iruka thought wryly. Out loud, he said, "I've decided not to go."

"Decided not to go?" Kakashi echoed and Iruka nodded his head firmly although he still continued to avoid the Jounin's gaze. "Correct me if I'm wrong – oh wait, don't; because I'm right – but didn't Tsunade-sama basically _order _you to attend?"

"Yes," Iruka said stiffly.

"And you're still not going?"

"Nope."

A low whistle. Iruka's hackles immediately rose.

His no-good-for-shit-Kakashi radar was going off the hook!

"I'd have to say, Iruka-sensei, that I feel for you."

...Huh?

Iruka finally turned his body so that he could look up at the Copy Nin, who was standing very close to him next to his chair. Kakashi still hadn't moved from the time he helped Iruka dislodge the noodle. In fact, his hand was still on Iruka's back now that Iruka thought about it.

"I'm ready for castration," Iruka announced bravely and Kakashi's eye twinkled with amusement.

"Really?" he murmured softly. "Quite the pity." Was it Iruka or did it suddenly get _hot_? "But you don't have to go through castration. You could just _attend_... with your costume."

"'Attend'? 'Costume'?" Naruto suddenly piped up. "What are you talking about?" His sky blue eyes suddenly lit up brilliantly. "Are you talking about the Halloween party?"

_Oh Naruto, _Iruka thought forlornly. _You only got that _now_?_

"What are you going as, sensei?" Naruto asked excitedly.

"Naruto, you know that who you're going as is kept secret until the night of the party," Iruka chided lightly although inwardly, he was slowly developing apoplexy. _Damn Kakashi for bringing this up! _"Besides, I'm not going."

Silence.

Ah, the calm before the storm.

"Eeeeeehhhhhh?" Naruto exclaimed. "But Iruka-sensei! It's going to be FUN!"

Iruka laughed nervously. "Well, I just don't have the _proper _outfit."

Iruka almost jumped out of his skin when two hands fell heavily on his shoulders. He was frozen in his spot as he slowly looked over his shoulder at the grinning Sharingan no Kakashi.

"Naruto, don't be like that," Kakashi said brightly.

_Say what? _Iruka thought in shock. YOU _were the one who kept on pestering me about going and about my costume!_

"Iruka-sensei can't help it if he can't find a _decent enough_ costume."

_...Say what?_

**Hook.**

"I mean, Chuunin _these days, _unlike during my time when there was a fierce war going on – although I was only Chuunin for one year anyway – have their hands full with all the paperwork and teaching they do. It's hard to cope, you know, being so loaded with _paperwork_."

_He better not be saying what I think he's saying! _Iruka thought as his eyes widened in shock at Kakashi's audacity.

"And then we expect these _Chuunin _to go on missions as well – not just C-rank but even the occasional B-rank and even A-rank! How do the poor things ever _cope_?"

Iruka's eyes suddenly narrowed into slits as the desire to rip that condescending tone out of Kakashi engulfed him. _Is he saying that all we do is paperwork? And that we cannot handle missions on top of that? I've gone on _plenty _of B-rank missions! And I have TWELVE A-rank missions under my file! Why the nerve of this big-headed, arrogant, stuck up Jounin!_

**Line.**

"So it's _no wonder_ that Iruka here can't even manage to scrape up a costume decent enough to wear to the party," Kakashi continued, seeming oblivious to the enraged Chuunin. Of course, acting is a skill most Jounin possess. "Plus, he's an _Academy sensei_ so he must be tired most of the time that he can't be out on the field often, where he can gain _many skills _and_ experience_."

_I have skills and experience! _Iruka thought in outrage. He shouldn't stand for this!

"So be nice, Naruto," Kakashi continued. "Iruka can't help it if he's just that... well, I could use a different word but I'm being kind... _simple_. No creativity or resourcefulness at all."

Both Naruto and Iruka gasped. They didn't seem to think that Kakashi was being _kind._

"Are you gonna take that, Iruka-sensei?" Naruto demanded.

"Oh, HELL NO!" Iruka roared, getting to his feet and slamming his palms on the table before glaring fiercely at Kakashi.

**Sinker.**

"I'll let you know that I already have a costume, Kakashi-sensei!" Iruka hissed, his eyes dark with fury. "It's absolutely perfect! I would be able to easily _enthral _everyone in that damn party!"

"Yeah!" Naruto cheered. "I can't wait to see you Iruka-sensei!"

Those words immediately snapped Iruka out of his mindless rage. His adrenaline levels immediately dropped and he stared at Naruto in disbelief before turning to the Jounin.

His single eye held such triumph and Iruka immediately interpreted the message behind that expressive eye.

"_I've caught myself a dolphin."_

* * *

**A/N: **_**I've missed Halloween already! And not only that, but I've split the second chapter into two! I'm sorry! *dodges rotten vegetables* I can't help it! I had such a horrible month and it's NOT over yet! So the second part to this chapter might take a while as well! I just thought I'd get at least a little something out so that I don't keep you guys hanging for too long. But I'm under sooo much STRESS! I can't even remember whose reviews I've replied to already! ARGH! Same with **_**The Crying Kamui! **_**I can't remember if I've replied to the reviews on the latest chapter and now, I'm going, "What should I do?" I don't want to offend anyone by not replying! So, um, I won't be able to reply to anyone's reviews from the previous chapter because I'm soooo lost. I shall reply again with the next chapter.**_

_**Anyway, tell me what you think of this part! Thanks heaps to everyone who reviewed the last chapter and added this story to their Favourites list! I am eternally grateful! *bows***_

_**Please review!**_

**Ceil Scheherazade**

**P.S. I've now gotten some of my brain compartments organized so I'm adding this edit in:**

**Thanks to my anonymous reviewers from the last chapter! My first reviewers last time were anonymous reviewers so here's the reply for them!**

**kalia - **_You're my first reviewer last chapter! I hope you let me know as well if you liked this chapter! I'm sorry I didn't reply the first time I posted this chapter since, well, I was all over the place after having just finished my final exam. As soon as I got home, I started writing and then my brain just died... *sigh* What do you think of 'poor Iruka' in this chapter? Thanks for dropping a comment! =)_

**jo - **_Haha, thanks! I hope you think this chapter is even better than the previous one! I shall look forward to seeing what you think! Sorry for the late reply!_

**katla - **_Aww! Thank YOU for dropping a comment! Now I'm getting pressured into making sure the second part of chapter two is even better! Eeep!_

**_Thank you again to everyone! As I said, I'll reply to reviews again next chapter! If you're an anonymous reviewer, I'll post my reply on the next chapter! _=D**


	3. The Curse of the Halloween Draw

**Disclaimer:** I do NOT own Naruto. It's owned by the spectacular Masashi Kishimoto.

**The Halloween Draw**

**Chapter 2b **(ahem…)

Umino Iruka was a practical man. He knew where he stood, he knew what his duties were and he knew what was expected of him. He was a shinobi of Konoha – a Chuunin – and a fine Academy sensei who had taught and raised a number of the future generations of Konoha. He was proud of his work, dedicated and passionate but he did not put up with non-sense. He was not dramatic or flamboyant. He believed in hard work and reaping what you sow. He was not a person to just flippantly dismiss events and situations as the work of destiny or fate or the like. Nevertheless…

_Someone or something out there absolutely hates me!_

Much like the day he had unwittingly fallen under the trap laid by Kakashi – the _bastard _– Iruka kept on staring at himself in front of the mirror and willed for the image before him to die a gruesome, horrible death. Unfortunately, life was underappreciating an honest man like him and dealing him this _very _unfortunate… situation.

_Why didn't I just shut the hell up after the Bloody Black Halloween incident? Then I wouldn't have drawn this stupid character and only the rest of Konoha would be suffering instead of me._

But of course, Iruka didn't really mean that. After all, he was a very kind, caring man who valued all his fellow Konoha citizens.

Still…

The moment he read the two words on that piece of paper, he knew he was going to be facing a mental and emotional roller coaster.

_Snow Woman._

No two words have ever brought more dread than those two together had.

As previously mentioned, Iruka was not one to pin things down to fate but _something_ was responsible for the fact that his mother had left behind a beautiful, flowing, modern white yukata that just barely fit Iruka around the shoulders. It was either his mother had been a muscular woman or they had gotten the wrong size and it was too big for her. Of course, there was another possibility that Iruka dismissed – there could be no way he could be considered a slender man after all. Yes, this was his mother's (bless her) fault.

So he had donned the yukata, which unlike the more traditional style, was a bit more loose below the waist. He had done this after applying a bit of make-up on his exposed skin to make him a shade paler. Of course, a _yuki-onna_ would probably be much, much paler but Iruka knew that making himself any more paler would require a ridiculous amount of white powder due to his naturally dark skin tone. He thought a long white wig would be sufficient to bring what he was meant to be across. Iruka also made the extra effort to hide his scar behind his make-up to prevent people from quickly realizing who he was. His dark eyes contrasted beautifully with his white outfit while his beautiful dark eyelashes were sprinkled with a bit of white powder to make it look like snow had fallen on his lashes. As a final touch, he applied a bit of lip-gloss just to stop his lips from looking so chapped after he had unceasingly chewed on them in his nervousness.

_If I'm going to be a snow woman, I'm going to be a hell of a _beautiful_ snow woman, damn it, _Iruka thought as he gave himself a final check in front of the mirror. As was mentioned previously, he does take pride in his work.

Iruka gave a final nod to his reflection, his eyes blazing in determination. He will survive the night! He will survive it and come out on top!

With that, the Academy-sensei-turned-beautiful-snow-woman teleported out of his apartment…

…just to be sure no one sees him leave it.

* * *

Iruka glanced quickly around before running to the next light post. He cursed the _geta_ he was wearing for the umpteenth time that night as it impeded his speed a bit. He had teleported a distance away from the venue of the party, which was an open field between the Hokage Monument and the Hokage Residence. Iruka was almost there although he still hesitated from just openly walking towards there.

The closer he got, the more anxious he got, and the bigger the urge to just high-tail it out of there. Why did he have to go through this? Hadn't he decided that his reputation and his name were well worth his balls?

A name then popped up in his head.

_Hatake Kakashi._

Ugh! That stupid poof-head!

He could see it now…

_Imaginary Kakashi smirked underneath his mask with one hand on a hip cocked to the side. "I always knew Chuunin Academy sensei like Iruka are useless outside of wiping the snotty noses of brats."_

Iruka's entire being burned at the thought.

_I'll show him, _he thought angrily. _Stupid, perverted, arrogant, perverted, think-he's-all-that, perverted-_

Iruka's inner tirade was brought to an abrupt end when he turned around the corner and smacked into someone. The force was enough that Iruka actually tripped on his geta and fell on his lovely, white-clad behind.

How could he have been so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't sensed the other's approaching chakra?

Iruka quickly looked up to apologise to the unfortunate person and found himself face-to-face with Shiranui Genma, who was dressed as a werewolf and looked like he had been struck between the eyes.

Panic struck Iruka as he fretted on whether he had already been discovered. Maybe his make-up skills were non-existent after all! Then again, he never really used make-up before.

He barely stopped himself from crawling backwards when Genma suddenly dropped on one knee in front of him.

"My lady," he murmured breathlessly. "Forgive me for such an offense."

Iruka gave him a wide-eyed stare. The hell? Genma was _never _this polite or eloquent!

What Iruka was not aware of was the lovely little picture he made. Due to his sitting position with his legs splayed out in front of him, his yukata had opened to reveal tantalising glimpses of thigh while his wide, doe-like eyes gave him such a vulnerable yet innocently seductive expression on his face.

Oh, Genma definitely counted himself a fortunate man.

He gently took Iruka's hand and placed it against his heart. "Please let me help you-"

"Oi, Genma! What are you doing there?" a voice called out. It was a voice Iruka knew as well.

Yamashiro Aoba.

Dressed like a mad scientist, Aoba took one look at Iruka and stiffened before a silly smile appeared on his face. Then he snapped out of it and hit Genma on the head.

"What did you do to the young lady?" he demanded. Genma released Iruka's hand, stood up and glared at Aoba.

"I didn't do anything!" he defended. "We bumped into one another and I was going to help her up!"

"How could you bump into such an angel?" Aoba retorted.

"Of course I didn't do it on purpose," Genma shot back before turning to Iruka. "Right- er…"

The "young lady" was gone.

* * *

Iruka breathed heavily as he gave himself a pat on the back for escaping. Wait, he cannot afford to let his guard down! He did not know what was wrong with Genma and Aoba but he had a nagging feeling that the troubles of the night were definitely not over.

He had to show himself to Tsunade just so he could say that he had gone to see her. Hopefully, she would be so piss drunk that she would not recognise him. However, the challenge was getting to the Godaime Hokage, who was all the way across the other end of the field.

_I should have teleported myself to the other side, _Iruka berated himself. But then again, there wasn't as much cover on that side since it was directly facing the Hokage Monument.

One of the best skills that Academy sensei developed was always being prepared. Iruka unravelled the white cloth he had brought with him and placed it over his head. Hopefully, no one would try to take a peek under a hood as he made his way towards the other end of the field.

It worked for a while until one of the worst people he could have come across stood in front of him.

"You can't be the Grim Reaper," Mitarashi Anko announced. "_I'm_ the Grim Reaper!"

Iruka almost rolled his eyes. Can't she see that his hood was _white_?

"She's obviously not the Grim Reaper, baka," another female voice said. Inuzuka Tsume. "She's obviously a _yuki-onna_."

Iruka just nodded his head. Hopefully, they would let him pass before they took a swipe at his hood.

It turned out that they didn't need to.

"You smell very familiar," Tsume said slowly as she began sniffing in his direction. Iruka stiffened and he cursed all the parent-teacher meetings he has had with the woman due to Kiba's pranks with Naruto, Shikamaru and Chouji back in the Academy.

Without warning, Anko grabbed his hood. Iruka quickly threw his arms in front of his face to stop them from instantly recognising them.

"Well damn," Anko said with a scowl.

_Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, _Iruka thought desperately as he glanced around for a place to run. _She _knows_!_

"She's fucking beautiful!"

Iruka almost tripped at the comment. He gave a mental sigh of relief that his secret was still safe.

"Where have I seen you before?" Tsume asked, her eyes narrowing as she stared intently at Iruka.

"You must have mistaken me for someone else," Iruka said very softly with his voice an octave higher. He winced at the ugly-sounding voice but he had other things to worry about.

"No, my nose is never wrong," Tsume said suspiciously. "But I don't recognise your face. Who are you?"

"Anko!" two voices yelled. Iruka glanced behind him and almost hyperventilated as he saw his two Chuunin buddies – Kamizuki Izumo and Hagane Kotetsu – approach them with wide smiles.

They would _surely_ recognise him!

"Excuse me," Iruka said quietly and slipped away so quickly considering he was wearing geta.

He almost breathed a sigh of relief as he finally spotted Tsunade.

_Score! _He thought, mentally jumping up and down in joy. But he quickly recovered as he saw Shikamaru, Chouji and Kiba headed in his direction.

Iruka had nothing against the Inuzukas but he was swearing at their amazing sense of smell as he hid behind a giant of a shinobi he did not know.

Once the coast was clear, Iruka quickly slipped behind various objects in his attempt to not draw attention to himself. Of course, it was only a matter of time when he faced one of the biggest challenges of this whole damn affair.

"Who are you looking for, dickless?"

"Shut up, Sai!" Naruto's boisterous voice exclaimed just a few metres away from where Iruka was nervously sweating.

"You have been looking around a lot," Sakura said curiously. "Who are you waiting for?"

Iruka took a quick peek and saw that Naruto was dressed as a _cowboy _of all things! Sai was obviously a vampire, which really suited him, while Sakura looked like a temptress in a genie outfit.

"Well, Iruka-sensei said that he would be coming with an awesome costume!" Naruto said excitedly. "I really want to see him!"

Iruka thought his heart would stop. Naruto see him like this?

Never in eternity!

_I would lose his respect, _Iruka mentally cried. That was one thing he would never allow to happen.

Then _he_ appeared.

The bane of Iruka's cursed existence.

"Yo!"

"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto and Sakura exclaimed as their team's namesake appeared…

…and stared.

Sai gave a low whistle. "I think you beat us all hands down, Kakashi-taichou," he announced while Naruto and Sakura nodded dumbly in agreement.

Instead of his cloth mask, skin-tight black leather covered the lower half of Kakashi's face while a black eye patch covered his Sharingan. Black eyeliner framed his grey eyes, accentuating their colour. Instead of his uniform shirt, a see-through mesh shirt and straps of leather hugged his lean and powerful physique, and then twisted down along his arms. Leather seemed to be the theme for tonight with him as his pants…

_Umino, no matter how sexy a beast he is, you are not allowed to stare at his crotch! And I don't care if it's begging to be stared at! _

Someone should really lock Kakashi up for indecent exposure.

"Maa, I was going to leave the mesh shirt at home but my neighbour insisted that I wear it," Kakashi said cheerfully as his eye curved in a smile that greatly contrasted with his dangerous look.

"I-I-I-I," Sakura finally stopped, took a deep breath, and weakly said, "I agree with your neighbour. Now excuse me…"

_Ah, she couldn't handle it,_ Iruka thought sympathetically as Sakura walked away.

"My rival! I see you have Truly Youthfully Embraced the Wonderful Traditions of this Hip Occasion!" a booming voice exclaimed.

Might Guy and Rock Lee appeared, not wearing matching clothes for once. While Guy wore a crocodile costume, Lee wore a skeleton suit.

"A crocodile?" Kakashi said with a raised brow.

He probably regretted that a second later as Guy broke into manly tears.

"I know, I know!" he cried as he wiped his wet face on his arm. "It is a Great Betrayal to my summons! To try to Pretend to be one of their _Predators_ is a Great Shame! But I am lucky to have Wonderfully Understanding summons who encouraged me to do what I Youthfully Must!"

"Guy-sensei, it's okay!" Lee yelled, tears streaming down his face as well and the two wrapped their arms around one another in a manly embrace.

"Uh, yeah," Naruto said slowly. "I'm going to go get some drinks."

_Damn! _Iruka cursed. His hiding place was only a couple of feet away from the drinks table! He nervously glanced around for avenues of escape while keeping an eye on the approaching Naruto.

"I shall go with you, Naruto-kun!" Lee announced as he followed Naruto. After a brief pause, Sai followed as well.

"Stay away from the punch, my Youthful Student," Guy instructed.

"Hai!"

Iruka slipped away behind another table that would place him out of sight of the three young shinobi. He took a quick glance at where Kakashi and Guy were and saw that they were gone.

How could he lose sight of Kakashi?

Well, they were probably just engaging in another match somewhere.

Then he spotted _her_.

His target, _Tsunade_.

He quickly made his way towards the Hokage, who was dressed like an evil witch. Heh, figures.

Iruka quickly headed towards her, easily dodging the tipsy people around him. That was quite a feat since tipsy shinobi were unpredictable but Iruka was used to dealing with excited pre-Genin brats who would unpredictably throw their new, shiny and pointy objects without a care as to the direction they wanted it to go. Iruka was a pro.

He opened his mouth in greeting when he was finally almost only an arm's width away from the busty evil-looking Hokage.

"Well, well, well, who do we have here?" a sexy voice drawled by his ear as an arm settled possessively around his shoulders.

Iruka almost screamed like a woman – ha! – as a shiver ran down his spine at that voice. He would have jumped in fright too if it weren't for the arm around him.

He oh-so-very slowly looked up at the person pressed so nicely- no, obtrusively! Obtrusively! – against him and felt his jaw drop.

Hatake Kakashi smirked knowingly down at him.

_Uh-oh, _the Chuunin thought as he felt his heart sink past the bottom of his stomach and towards his geta.

"What a lovely snow maiden," Kakashi whispered hotly as he brought his face closer to Iruka's.

Before Iruka could burst into flames, he distantly heard someone calling Kakashi's name.

"Kakashi!" a very drunk and swaying Tsunade called in greeting while being followed by an anxious Shizune. "What are you – _hic_ – supposed to be?"

Kakashi raised a fine eyebrow, his eye twinkling in amusement as he held his arms open with one arm still laid across Iruka's shoulders.

"Isn't it obvious?" he asked.

Iruka couldn't help but take another look. Nope, it did not get any easier the second time. It's that damn crotch's fault!

Tsunade's unfocused eyes travelled down then up, a blank look on her face… Exactly what – or how much – did she drink to be so unaffected, Iruka wondered.

Well, whatever amount it was, Iruka definitely needed it.

"A Goth?" Tsunade slurred.

"Hmm, not quite," Kakashi replied. He slowly turned towards Iruka and, with eyes that smouldered, answered.

"An incubus."

Oh. A sex demon.

Iruka could definitely see that.

He wanted to tear his eyes away from that heated look but he was stunned into place.

"And who's this young lady?" Tsunade slurred as she eyed Iruka. "Hmm, you look very familiar."

_That _got Iruka to look back at his Hokage. He had to swallow a couple of times but he was eventually able to open his mouth and make a sound come out.

"I'm-"

"WOOOOOOTTTTTTT!"

A series of crashing sounds were heard as a commotion erupted from the punch table.

"I warned you not to let him near the punch," Guy's voice said over the ruckus.

"But we thought it was just juice with a bit of alcohol!" Naruto protested.

Iruka face-palmed at his favourite student's declaration. _Oh Naruto…_

"NO!" Tsunade cried. "_**The alcohol**_!"

Chaos reigned as alcohol and adrenaline-charged shinobi began fist fighting.

_This is the damn Bloody Black Halloween all over again, _Iruka thought furiously.

Without thinking, he said out loud, his frustration heavily coating each word, "_Really…_ What was the whole point of the Halloween Draw if I had to suffer looking like _this_ if history only repeats itself?"

"Iruka-sensei?"

Iruka stiffened at hearing Naruto's voice saying his name.

"Ah," Kakashi drawled by his ear. "Now you've revealed yourself."

Iruka thought his face was going to explode as he finally noticed the young man whose love and respect he wanted standing a few feet away from him with his jaw hanging off its socket. It was only then that Iruka also noticed that the immediate area around them was as silent as the grave as shocked onlookers gaped at him.

"Na-Na-Na-Na-Na-" Why was it so difficult to get past that first syllable?

"Take a deep breath," Kakashi murmured, his tone belaying the fact that he was clearly enjoying himself. "It will help."

Iruka did as instructed but then everything came flowing out at once.

"Naruto, I didn't mean for you to see me like this. It's just because of this stupid Halloween Draw. Seriously, what was I thinking when I suggested it? Definitely not this! Why oh why did the rules have to state that you HAVE to wear the damn outfit you draw? But then again, if that rule wasn't in place then there's no point in the whole bloody thing! But I really wasn't expecting to draw something that wasn't even intended for _my _gender but when I tried to get a swap, they wouldn't let me those evil Jounin! Then I decided I wouldn't go to the party and I was going to farewell my balls but then you and the stupid, perverted poof-head here appeared and I got trapped into saying I was going! I still shouldn't have gone though since I didn't want to lose the precious respect you have for me! I mean, there's no way I'd make a good snow woman, right? Right?"

What Iruka didn't realize was that he was close to tears by the end of his tirade. What Iruka didn't realize was that he looked so beautifully vulnerable as his lips trembled and his eyelashes softly fluttered in his anxiety.

Oh yes, everyone was definitely in thrall.

When Iruka finally realized that Naruto wasn't saying anything, he finally looked back up at the boy.

"Naruto?" he said softly.

And the silence broke.

Naruto rushed to his teacher and took his hand between his own.

"What are you talking about, Iruka-sensei?" Naruto asked in shock. "You're absolutely fantastically beautiful, believe it!"

Naruto was immediately pushed out of the way by a widely grinning Hokage.

"I think you deserve the best costume, Iruka," Tsunade declared. "Man, am I glad you're not a real woman."

Anko and Tsume appeared on either side of Iruka and leaned very close into his face.

"It is him!" Anko cried. "Damn Iruka, who knew you had it in you?"

"See, I knew you smelled familiar! Never doubt the strength of an Inuzuka nose!"

Genma and Aoba then pushed all the women away.

"Hehe," Aoba said with a silly grin. "You're pretty Iruka-san."

"Iruka, I take back all the jokes I've ever said about you," Genma said earnestly. "Now come away with me!"

The crowd pushed forward around them as people shouted compliments for Iruka over one another. There were quite a few propositions around as well.

_Oh good, the chaos around Lee dispersed, _Iruka thought. _But now they're all after me!_

"Shall I rescue the damsel-in-distress?"

Iruka thought his ear would fall off after all the times Kakashi whispered hotly in his ear that night.

"Who's a damsel?" Iruka snapped back at him. But when Ebisu managed to take his hand and lick the back of it, Iruka squealed. "Take me away! _Take me away_!"

There was a chuckle and then their surroundings were suddenly quiet.

Iruka opened his eyes and saw that they were in an unknown apartment.

_Uh-oh…_

Hm, that seemed to be the phrase that most naturally came to Iruka whenever he had to deal with the infamous Hatake Kakashi.

"Let me guess," Iruka said, trying his best to sound calm while he hyperventilated inside. "This is _your_ apartment."

Iruka heard a resounding click as Kakashi locked the front door behind him. The Academy sensei slowly began backing off.

"Your intelligence is one of the things I love most about you, Iruka-_sensei_," Kakashi said. His tone sounded amused but his eye was anything but. They were so dark with passion…

_I'm in trouble, _Iruka thought frantically. _Exit strategy, exit strategy!_

"Well, thank you for helping me out," Iruka said brightly as slowly moved towards the exit. Kakashi would be too quick for him to perform a teleportation jutsu but that also probably meant that he'd be too quick for Iruka to unlock the front door. "But I really must be goi- eep!"

Kakashi had trapped Iruka against the wall with both hands on each side of his head and his body pressed close to his.

The leather mask pooled under his chin.

And Iruka stared.

"Th-That's unfair," Iruka whispered weakly as he helplessly stared at the absolutely beautiful face.

"I'm an incubus tonight, Iruka," Kakashi whispered back. "A demon. I don't care what's fair or not; I'll use it to my advantage. Oh, and a demon never does anything for free so…"

As the distance between their faces disappeared, Iruka had one last chance to curse the stupid Halloween Draw.

* * *

**A/N: **_**And it's finally done! Almost 2 years later… *wince* But it was how I imagined the story would end when I first came up with it. Nobody was able to guess **_**snow woman **_**but I thought it would be funny because Iruka's complexion is the opposite of how I pictured a snow woman's would be.**_

_**Anyway, thank you to the readers and reviewers of this story. These are:**_

Just Call Me Person_** – I cannot speak Japanese so I can only rely what I've read. Apparently "Umino Iruka" roughly translates to sea dolphin although I think I've read somewhere that the literal translation is closer to sea pig or something which is what a dolphin is to the Japanese… Erm, I guess just Google it? Thanks for reading my story! **_

Prescripto 13_** - **__***sighs in relief* Thank goodness you liked my characterization of Kakashi for the last chapter! I personally thought it was a bit OOC but I love to write him that way from time to time.**__** Thanks for reading!**_

Firecyclone_** – I'm glad you liked the last chapter! I hope you like this one too! I'm actually nervous about this one. Thank you for reading!**_

The-Lady-Smaell_** – Oh how I miss you! I hope you're still reading this… Thank you for your encouragement in the review for the last chapter. Well, now you know what Iruka's and Kakashi's costumes were. I already knew what I wanted for Iruka right at the very start but I was a bit unsure about Kakashi's. I thought a pirate at first but then I thought I would push myself a bit harder than that… ahem… Anyway… Thanks for reading!**_

KakashiKrazed_** – I hope you're not disappointed with my choice for Kakashi's costume… *flinch* I know how much you love him! So yeah, this is the sneaky chapter 2b due to my laziness of changing chapter numbers. But I hope you liked this chapter too, if you're still reading… Thanks again!**_

Ryu Earth_** – Haha, well you guessed right about the woman part! Come on, we all know Iruka secretly likes it, haha! Thanks for reading!**_

Thesoulofthegreatbell _**– Thank you for always reading my stories! I absolutely love you! I really hope you liked this chapter although I was a bit uncertain of how it would be received. Thanks for the support!**_

iNsAnE nO bAkA_** – No, not a maid although he did dress up as a woman! I hope you like what he did eventually dress up as although I'm not sure I described it very well. **_

jo_** – Well, I already missed the Halloween after I wrote the first chapter and I'm posting this in June… Utter fail! But thanks for your support. I hope you enjoy reading this chapter!**_

Auphora66_** – I hope you liked this chapter! Thanks for reading!**_

Vetinari_** – LOL, no, I made Sai the vampire. I thought it suited him too much. What's Halloween without at least one vampire, right? *wink* Thanks for reading!**_

Hieiashke_** – Well, I gave it away in this chapter, haha! Thanks for reading! I hope you like this one.**_

Skie89_** – That suggestion's actually really clever! Iruka in a Hatake Kakashi costume, haha! I would pay to see that! Erm, well this chapter had the party in it… although it was all about Iruka dodging people. To be honest, I'm bad at writing about what happens in parties since I rarely go to any party *hangs head in shame* But I hope you liked this chapter anyway… Thanks for reading!**_

Ash Gray Kitsune_** – Thank you for your understanding! I think I took too much time in this case though… I hope this chapter meets people's expectations. Thank you for your comments!**_

_**Thanks everyone!**_

**Ceil Scheherazade**


End file.
